Depending on what Daddy wants to do—we’ll probably delete these blogs. Seeing as how we have no point of posting on here, the community seems full of people who don’t know what they’re talking about, and it’s hard to meet and find people who legit want to be friends.
So, blog is pointless. :3
I am just reblogging this to tell my followers the same. What is the point of having a BDSM/petplay blog, if no one wants to help me out with some tips? I’ll give myself a couple days and all, but I will be deleting this blog within the week. No one on tumblr seems to want to be friends as I think 99.999% of the people on here are trolls anyways. I don’t care what people say about me, as I’m going to be deleting this blog anyways.
I haven’t been on here in like a bazillion years. I feel alienated here. All well. I only come on here once in a blue moon. Like my last tumblrs. I only check in every few weeks or so. I should check more often, but I really could care less about tumblr. My little is the only thing that matters to me at this moment. Him and my college, but college is second… well, more like tenth in my life.
I think that’s its for now. D<
I love Usagi to death. I love him more than anything on this Earth. I would die without him. I just want to post on how special he is to me, because he it.
Usagi, stay cute and adorable. I love you more than life itself. I would gladly take a bullet for you. <3
I guess it doesn’t matter if I tag anything. People are going to make it circulate no matter what. So I guess, that’s all I wanted to say, even though it’s my personal stuff, I’m the one that put it on this stupid ass website.
//: note to self; don’t post personal shit here. Unless its about sex. xD
Okay, so I decided to jump into the self harm tag to see what it was all about. It was mainly out of curiosity. I’m not judging, but dear God. It’s a sad sad tag. People really do need help. It’s sad because there is no reason to slice your wrists open or cut your arms up and shit. I wish I would’ve saved the pictures I saw of this poor soul and she literally mutilated her arms and legs.
But the set of pictures saddened me. That girls life must’ve been so bad for her to mutilate herself because of her depression. I mean I know all about cutting yourself, but I don’t know if I know a lot about it. The cutting I did was not to the point of wanting to kill myself. But was that I wanted to make sure I was alive. I feel dead half the time. So I cut/bite myself to make it apparent that I’m alive. It’s why I pick at my cuticles and rip them off and all. It makes me feel alive.
I felt as if a part of me died when my oldest brother left this world. But now that I’m in my adult years, I am numb on the inside. I have had so much death in my life it makes “Tales from the Crypt" look like a happy story. I have a reason to live and he is my soul mate, my little, my masochist. He is my everything. I would kill myself if he died. There would be no point in living if he wasn’t around me.
What my point is, living is so much better then Death. Why? Because you can’t see the Himalayas when your laying in a pine box. You can’t see what beauty nature has when your buried six feet under. I am fascinated by Death, I guess that’s why I look it up all the time. It makes me think on if I did kill myself, how would I be laying and how would the police or my family find me? I guess I worry too much about what would happen afterward, but I do care about this life I have.
Yeah, some of it might be dull and dark, but I haven’t cut myself in six years now. So that’s a start. I know self-mutilation is not the way to go, but I love my scars and I embrace them. I don’t look back to them and get depressed about them. I guess everyone’s different, but that’s how I am.
Do I still want to die?
Sometimes. But then I think about my little. And I rethink on why I want to die. And the reason why are outweighed by the reasons I should live on. So, there’s my two cents about depression and self-harm. I think some self-harm is a cry for help. While I think others are like me, were hurting themselves is the only way to feel alive.
I’m not tagging this as self-harm for multiple reasons. But a part of me tells me perhaps I should. I might retag it when I think it’ll help someone and not make someone fall deeper into their hole.
D< Fuck you tumblr. I write this long fucking rant about last night and you delete HALF OF IT! FUCK YOU!
I hate this shit, now I have to rewrite it. D:
All well, it gives me something to do.
So, I had a really weird dream last night. Actually it was right before I woke up. I’m gonna write it down here because I don’t want to forget it.
It started out in a city. A huge city at that. And I and my little were going to a government facility to (I think) get a job there. But it was a lot like a college class. It was really strange because in the dream I started playing a character that I usually always play. So anyways. My little had to sit across the room from me for some reason. The teacher looked like Bellatrix from Harry Potter but instead of witch robes she was wearing a shirt and a lab coat.
So, she started to separate the class so we could all go to the next class. My whole class from college was there. So it was weird to me. So before she could tell my little that he had to be in a different class, I told her I couldn’t be separated from him. She understood and complied to my wishes.
Now here comes the weird part. We’re outside of the facility again, I don’t know who or what I am, all I know is that there is a beautiful Equine furry standing still. Trapped in the 3D world. (If you played Super Paper Mario you’d understand slightly) But nothing was 2D in my dream. So who/whatever I was say him and heard his cry for help. So I helped him. There was a surveillance camera pointed at him which was causing him to be paralyzed.
So with my awesome ninja skills I disabled the camera and the Equine was grateful. Okay, so the weird part of the dream is coming. I end up being the Equine and my little is the one who saved the Equine. He’s a sexy Otter. With blue swim trunks on. The Equine was naked and all his sexy horsey parts were hanging out.
I kept switching perspectives between the Otter and the Equine. So it’s going to get kinda confusing.
So when I was in the point of view of the Otter, I was very short. And my little was the Equine at this time. ((I love size difference play like this. Where the Dom is short and the Sub is tall. I like it the other way around too, but small!Dom and big!sub is the best for me.))
So anyways. I, the Otter, was walking with my Equine, tugging on his penis so he could keep up with me. He enjoyed that too much. When we came up to a gate at the facility, we were in a state of panic for some reason. Zombies from the city maybe? But the Equine jumped over the fence with ease, but I had to squeeze through a small opening in the fence. Which I finally did.
Now I’m the Equine. I like that word: Equine. So I run into this facility, looking for human!my little. But before I do, an alarm goes off and people start shoving me toward this room with other people. I start screaming for my little’s name and start to freak out. Well, that was a terrible idea, because I think I was going to be put in the same room as him anyways. But as a horse, when I’m spooked or upset, you can’t stop me from rampaging.
As I’m running around on all four and bucking like a crazed animal, I think I end up breaking one of the windows. Which all the employee’s are now pissed off at me and start freaking out. I stop and look out the front of the building and all we see are these gigantic alien ships fly out from above the facility. I think there were three of them. I turn to look at everyone and a guy ends up pointing a gun to his head and passing out.
I heard a lady say, “What have you done? You released the spores into the air outside. Now we’re all doomed.” I quickly have a solution.
"I will collect 5 of my greatest friends, and we will stop these alien creatures from destroying Earth."
Then my teammate had to text me to tell me about the college assignment due tonight. D< Fucking college. I was having an epic dream of me being a sexy horse. D<
But anyways. I might draw my horse and my little’s otter and it might become a thing. I need to talk to him about it. >D
Okay, so I need to write my expectations for my little sub, so he follows them. But I have no idea where to start. D: I really need to get in touch with other Dom’s.
So I’ll go and try and type them up. Along with punishments and all.
I really want to get my little one, pet, a collar. Whether it be a dog collar from PetSmart or a BDSM slave collar. But I don’t want to have him start wearing a collar and suddenly everyone in the household questions it. I know some people, who aren’t into BDSM, wear dog collars, but how do I go into that and all. I don’t want to tell everyone that we’re into the furry lifestyle, because I already told my Dad what they do. So that’s out of the ball park.
Maybe a small chain choker I can make-shift? I don’t know. I’ll get a dog tag made for him so everyone knows he’s mine and I want him to wear it 24/7. Except when he showers because then, I will be the only person to take it off and put it on. He will have no control over it.
So I talked to another Dom on Omegle, and he was actually really helpful with some things I had asked him. I need to talk to more Dom’s and socialize with them. Get advice and all from them and see how they treat their subs.
Only problem with that is trying to find a “real” Dom, I know of one, so I might go to his blog and start asking questions and I might actually start following him. Depends.
I am slowly becoming the Dom I need to be for my sub. I made a day where we are going to train and make him a little less human. He’ll be my puppy of course. I want him to be nude in my room all day and if he needs to go to the bathroom, he’ll have to go to the tub. I’ll be giving him basic commands to be obedient and he’ll be a good puppy.
My goals in our pet!play relationship:
- I want to get to the point of a 24/7 pet!play relationship. This actually goes without saying, but there are certain things as my pet/sub he must do. Like drive me around and things like that.
- When I say “switch” he’ll go from pup to slave or vice versa. When I need him to drive, he’ll drive, when I want to play fetch, he’ll chase that ball I throw and bring it back.
- Complete and utter obedience. I want him to be just like a dog to me; that I fuck all the time. I found some good sites that have puppy!gear, so I have to save up money to do so.
- Collar him. This is actually my main goal for him. I want him to know he’s mine and he’ll always me mine and no one can take him from me.
I think that’s it for now. More will be added and so on. I really want this relationship for me and my little. He means so much to me, and hopefully I can find a nice collar for him when it’s time. I just can’t find anything on the Internet that not Etsy or the collars are more than 200$+. Maybe my money shouldn’t be a problem, knowing that he’s mine and I should spend shit tons of money on him anyways.
Well, I’m off to find more things on pet play. Hopefully I can find someone who’ll answer my asks for me.